We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
