I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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