hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
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In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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