you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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