why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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