Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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