in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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