It's Friday. Sex?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
