3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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