he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
