They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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