i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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