Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i love accidental penises.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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