but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
