his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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