she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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