I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
