I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
