i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
