it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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