Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
