Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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