He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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