If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
