Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
