Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize