Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
