when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize