she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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