never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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