the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
