If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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