one two three fourrrrnication!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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