she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize