Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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