You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
