When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
