absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
