I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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