1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
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