did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
