Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
