i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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