Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
