did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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