I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
