Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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