you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
