her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
