i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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