this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize