We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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