We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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