i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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