Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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