You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
