you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
